Seven Types of Highly Ineffective Voicemail

When I see that I’ve got a voicemail, my heart sinks. I will put off listening to a voicemail in a way I would never, ever do with a text message or an email. Because listening to it is a chore in a way that reading a text never is. And that’s because most voicemails fall into a few specific categories:

The Novelty Act

OMG isn’t it crazy that a machine is really recording my voice?! Can you hear me? Oh wow. I don’t know what to say, but um, this is great. Maybe I should sing you a song?

The Duplicator

Sleep tight, my pretty

Funny how talking about security tends to make us feel less secure. Raising a security issue without causing unnecessary worry is difficult. You need empathy, tact and excellent communication skills. A bit of charm wouldn’t go amiss either.

I recently received an email from Travelodge demonstrating the total lack of any of these qualities. It’s an email which I thought was worth a detailed reply.